The last week and a half I have been spending my days trying to potty train Bode...and yes we have been trying, we have not yet succeeded! I thought it was about time, he is 5 and I am honestly pretty sick of changing his adult size poops and buying diapers for him. My sister Hollie was kind enough to take off ALL of her week last week and come to my house and we could conquer this together! Well if it wasn't for Hollie, nothing would have been conquered. I would have given up on the first day...so thanks Haws!
So we started out on Monday, I started by putting him in training pants (the cloth ones with a little more absorbency than usual undies). Well it wasn't working, we would put him on the toilet like every 10 minutes and he wouldn't do anything and then he would just get off an pee his pants. So we thought we just need him to pee on the toilet so he can figure that is what you do. Well we didn't think it would take that long...literally, it took forever. Bode spent 3 hours on the toilet on Monday, yes 3 hours...his little bum had the red mark from the little seat he was sitting on. He would NOT go! Finally I was like whatever, I can't sit in this bathroom anymore, he is not getting it (we did take turns sitting in the bathroom so it was somewhat bearable). After the 3 hours I had it, I left and low and behold Bode gets off and pees his pants, he had to go so bad that Hollie and I both heard it from downstairs, it was loud and forceful. :) I was done for the day...hello diaper!
The next day we thought well let's do the same thing, except half way through the process (1 1/2) hours later, Haws thought well we know he will go if he is just standing up so why don't we let him get up and down from the toilet and if he starts going we will hurry and move him to the toilet so he can get the concept. Well another 1 1/2 later I can just see him doing the pee dance, he holds himself every now and again, I am continuing to push on his bladder...somewhere underneath that little belly of his and nothing...he is STUBBORN! Then finally he starts peeing, I jump up and pretty much scare him and he stops, then I put him to the toilet (standing up now) and he is hesitate but then he starts going! Yipee! Party thrown! Bode went potty in the toilet, somewhat! We were done for the day. :)
Next day we did the same thing, same time on the toilet maybe a little longer though, he starts going and I hurry and move him to the toilet...yeah day two he went again with the help from us moving him we he starts to weee. Done for the day! That is all we can take.
Well that night he came up to me and started patting his diaper, I asked if he needed to go potty, he starts taking off his diaper and we go to the toilet and he GOES! On his own he goes! Yes, that is the one and only time he has gone on his own. I was so excited, another party thrown for Bode! He was pretty happy too. Well 30 minutes later I asked him if he needed to go again..we went to the toilet he went. We were on a roll, improvement!
The next day we were excited to get started. He wouldn't go in the morning, but about 11 we got him to go again and we did it about every 30 minutes through out the day, he was doing great. Well that leaves us to today, I am still putting him on the toilet every 30 minutes and he will usually always go, but he will go in between too, so we still have wet pants and there is no Bode coming to tell me he has to go potty...how long do I have to do this until he realizes that he can do it on his own or hold it...I know he can hold it! He won't figure out the pooping on the toilet, he will still go in his pants and then he thinks it is fun to play in it and make mommy clean it up and clean him up...I had it yesterday!
So is this going to get better? Because I have done it for a week in a half now and I don't see ANY improvements. What am I doing wrong?? Help! Mommy is going a little insane (more insane than I already am, that is pretty scary). Any suggestions on how to close the deal on potty training a child with Down Syndrome would be fabulous. Thanks ya'll and sorry for the long post.
19 comments:
Um...is this wrong? And it probably is - but I totally remember getting potty trained and I always saw my older brother going and I started mimicing him. I was even sitting backwards on the toliet going. (I am a girl and he is a boy, you get it haha) Anyway, I know Cooper isnt always around, but maybe Cooper could bring him in the bathroom with him and have Bode watch him, and then Bode go. I dont know...Obviously I have never done this - but that helped me learn.
I wish I had all the answers. I can say that you need to stick with it because it does NOT get easier as they get older. I waited too long with Morgan (6 1/2) and it's been quite the process. It takes them longer to understand the concept of completely emptying their bladder and then holding it. Morgan would go potty on the toilet and then pee 2 minutes later in her underwear. In the beginning I had her sit on the toilet for about 15 minutes (while we read books). She'd empty more out of her bladder when she was more relaxed. We started doing every 30 minutes and gradually increased it 15 minutes every few days or weeks depending on how many accidents we were having. We got her up to about 2 - 2 1/2 hour breaks but had a little set back with her school and pull ups and are now back to 1 1/2 hour increments. We are at the year point and she still doesn't tell us when she needs to go unless it's poopies. She'll tell us after the fact, "I go potty" which really means "I WENT potty in my pants!"
I made a toileting chart that I tape to my wall every day to help keep track of progress and accidents. I'll email it to you.
One more thing...if you can get him to sit on the toilet and not stand to go potty it will help with getting him to eventually go poopies on the toilet. That was a mistake I made with my son and he refused to ever sit on the toilet and took so much longer to get completely toilet trained.
Good luck! It takes such a time commitment from you but it will pay off in the end even if it is a year later! :)
I have no answers for you as Sam is only 18 months but I appreciate this post and the comments so I have an idea of what I can do and try to help Sam learn to potty train. Actually there is a lady in our weber county group who's son is in high school and she said he potty trained quite easy. I'll ask her for some tips and let you know. You are a trooper and how nice of your sister to help. Hang in there.
Natalie, you are my HERO! I wish I had some great advice but I don't! I will pray for you though! You are a great mom, Bode is lucky to have you. Hang in there!!!
The book I used for Mia said it's method was actually for kids with Downs. It was called "potty train in 1 day" or something like that.
I also agree with Rachelle- get Cooper and Daddy in on it. Mia taught the twins the "how-to"- all I did was reinforce what they did right with candy. :)
Okay- I just looked it up- it was this one: http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/0671693808/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b#noop
It sounds like he's doing really great though, Nat! I don't know how long Cooper took- but Mia went a lot faster than the twins, so it seemed way harder. It took us a month of reminding and months of accidents with the twins. But, it really was worth it!
You're doing awesome being so consistent and trying every day!!
It took my son FOREVER to be potty trained and he doesn't have downs. I think it was almost a year until he stopped pooping in his underwear! He was four at the time. I feel your pain, hang in there. It seems like it just has to click and when it does they'll get it. Good luck!
Um, don't give up. He'll get it. Do I need to come over and help again. Give you a break?
I;m convinced that I'm the worlds worst potty trainer so unfortunately, no advice here. But- I do have chocolate!! Maybe you should reward yourself every time you reward bode! That might make it more bearable.
Oh Natalie, bless your heart! I think potty training is so frustrating for both the mother and the child. I think I can agree with all the other posts that being consistent is probably your best bet. Hang in there! You are such a trooper and I'm so proud of you for the great mother you are to all your kids!
I am more than happy to help you out next week while my kids are at school
I wish I had some advice for you. I can very much relate with the being in the bathroom for hours at a time. When I was potty training the twins I didn't get to shower, I forgot to eat most days, and I spent a lot of time nursing the baby in the bathroom while reading stories waiting for the boys to do SOMETHING on the toilet. It is so frustrating! Do you want me to bring you some chocolate? That seemed to help me feel better at the end of a long day TRYING to potty train...
I second the chocolate for mom idea!:) Keep rewarding yourself for every little victory!
Oh man! sorry nat! Hopefully it will click soon. I am sure consistancy will pay off. Good luck!
OK, so I'm a blogstalker. I saw your cute son's picture on Summer's blog list. My 8 year old is autistic/Fragile X and I always get excited to read experiences of other moms of special needs kids.
My little Rachael finally got potty trained at age 7 after trying for years. She just couldn't get her mind and body to work together. I don't have the answers but just know you're not alone!
Oh Natalie....I wish I had some advice but i don't. :( I have never done it and Londyn isn't quite ready but soon enough I will be there with you! Good luck!
this parenting stuff sometimes...geez!! My heart goes out to you on the potty training thing. Special Needs kids make things that much harder. I'm not sure if Whitney will ever be able to do it...ill let you know if a few years hopefully ;)
No advice from me, but just know I am rooting for you and Bode!!!
Oh Natalie! I have been thinking about you a ton. I asked my mom when she potty trained my little sister. She waited until after kindergarten. Who knows what the answer is, but consistency is everything. They say that with special needs children, what would take the average child 10 times to learn will take them 100 times to learn.....I know that you are fully aware of this.
I agree with some of the other posts. Try, as much as possible, to get dad and Cooper involved. They are his role models and I am sure he wants to be like them. You are a wonderful mother and you have a LOT of people praying for you....myself included.
You are a rock star! Seriously, I admire you so much. Potty-training is so hard when you don't have a child with downs. So the only advice I have is a book that I highly recommend "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Nathan H. Azrin and Richard Foxx. They actually came up with the method so that adults with mental retardation could learn how to "potty themselves". Anyway, you can probably get it at the library. Good luck. Let me know if I can help. I'd love to take you kids for the day or anything else you may find helpful. Seriously, anything.
Hello Lovely! I don't have kids and therefore don't really have any advice, but I think that you are amazing!
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